Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
