doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize