Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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