you turned your livingroom into a bong?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
