sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
