Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Randomize
