Pappa wants mamma naked
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
