Jerry, you need to find god
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
even my farts smell like vagina
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
