I wish I could teleport
i need an iv and a liver transplant
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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