oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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