We need to rekindle our bromance
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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