He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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