Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
