so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
