so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
