at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
