She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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