He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
