I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
