i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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