Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize