i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
