I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
