so explain again why im purple
no
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
