Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
