I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
