You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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