Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
