hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
