when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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