my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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