I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
