Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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