The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
