Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize
