Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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