when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
