some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
