check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
