Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
