I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
