that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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