I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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