census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
