so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
