You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Pants are for mortals
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
