you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
