I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
