I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
