Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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