she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
