Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
