Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
