Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
