That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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