some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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