You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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