No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You are the jesus of drinking
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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