It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
