He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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