**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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