I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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