Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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