I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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