I must be too annoying 4 u.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
