I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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