ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
