I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
