hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
